The Anarcho Geek Info Center

Yes,I know I write a lot of things about McDonalds on my site,but when you work there it’s hard to not complain about one thing or the other.Now I’ve decided it would make my job much more enjoyable if I’d give you a few pointers to use when you decide to come in to a McDonalds.

Know what the fuck you want before you step up to the counter.I can’t stand it when I’m making my awesome assed burgers and some fuck tard keeps changing their order around so I’ll end up having too much or too little of something.If you’re getting more than one of the same thing why in the fuck would you skip over it and then add another one.That pisses me off to no end.

Don’t stare back into the kitchen while I’m kicking ass.I don’t stare at you while you’re doing your job so just keep the eyes on the bitches up front.They are there to look pretty and give you food.I don’t like being looked at like I’m some sort of criminal or something,that pisses me off.If I wanted to spit in your food anyways I could easily do it without you knowing.Just remember that next time you step in.

Don’t send stuff back unless it’s pink as hell or missing a burger.It’s stupid that we have special orders in the first place.It’s busy and I don’t feel like adding all this stupid shit to your burger because you felt like getting creative with the stupid thing.If you don’t like the sandwhich the way we make it than there’s a simple solution:fuck off.We don’t need your business here,there’s a perfectly good SubWay down the road and they’ll gladly ask what you want on your shit.As for me,I don’t care.

Don’t fuck on the Baby Change Station.I’m serious,some nasty looking couple went into the bathroom and fucked right on our baby change station.Who in the hell would do something so stupid?I wish we could find these people and legally cane them for being so stupid.Don’t people have homes?I doubt anyone came to work at McDonalds thinking they’d have to clean up some perverts jizz off of the wall.I didn’t have to clean it though so at least that was good.

Make sure you order a bunch of fries and ice cream.I love getting orders when I don’t have to make anything in the back.That way I can laugh at all of the people that do have to actually do work.That’s awesome.

Don’t order 10 double cheeseburgers at 12 PM.No wonder people in this country are so fat,they come in and order enough food to make Oprah gag and then they have the nerve to order a diet coke with the whole thing.Hell if you’re eating that much shit at that time of the night than you’d be better off downing a quart of CLR.That’ll put you down quicker anyways.

Don’t come in when you’re drunk.Work is not a party,there’s no beer,no fried chicken,and no drunken hot bitches to take advantage of.The last thing we want is some jackass coming in and reminding us of how much fun we could be having while instead we’re at work.Then the bastards won’t leave.It’s like they are somehow sucked into pissing us off even more than before.It’s really like a big crock of shit.I would love to have a posistion in McDonalds that involves nothing but beating the crap out of stupid,and/or drunken customers.I would love to have that job.

I hope I’ve brought to your attention a few things that can easily be done.Hopefully you’ll understand where I’m coming from and agree with me completely.If not I guess you can just fuck off and not come to McDonalds ever again,not that you’d be missing out on much.

About the Author

The Epic is the founder and owner of his personal site The Epic Zone located at theepiczone.com

I am very caring and sensitive. I think this is in part down to my tough upbringing. I worked on a cabbage farm since I was eight years old. My father was a dour and God fearing Evangalist who married a one armed Yugoslavian peasant from Skopje. She never spoke a word of English and still doesn’t.

My father moved on in the late 1980’s having eloped with a Tibetan Monk. I never heard from them again but I escaped from the cabbages. I was an only child until my mother re married again and I now have 4 step sisters and 3 step brothers.

I washed cars in the biting winds of the North East coast to earn money for the family and despite looking after my mother and her young siblings I was thrown out of house and home at the age of 18.

I moved to London and was going to sleep rough. Since then I have encountered nothing but kindness. I remember my first day in the capital. It was just after Halloween in 1987 and I found this old pumpkin which I wanted to slice up into pieces so I borrowed a meat cleaver I found at the back of the Chinese Restaurant and as I was returning to the rubbish skip for the pumpkin I bumped into a man who looked at me without saying a word and handed me the total contents of his wallet. Can you believe it. I am sure that meat cleaver was lucky.

With this kind donation I checked into a hotel. What luxury. I had never been in a hotel before. They had this thing called a bidet with fresh water pouring out of it that you could drink from.

On the second night I was in the lobby trying on some sun glasses that I never intended to buy and doing my best James Bond impression and watching my reflection off the shop window. I wondered if I could become an actor. Out of the blue a total stranger walks up to me and in perfect Slav he hands me a suitcase, shakes my hand and thanks me for all my work for the motherland. I thanked him also and praised the motherland profusely. I felt so good and warm that someone appreciated me and I never had the heart to tell this person that I didn’t know what he meant. So uncanny that he should speak in a language I understood so well. It was almost as if he had singled me out from amongst the crowd.

Can you imagine my shock when I later opened the suitcase and found over a million dollars inside it, all in one hundred dollar bills. I was overwhelmed. The world is full of such caring and sensitive people. I cried with gratitude. It was meant for me after all. I must have met my guardian Angel.

In the morning I had a wonderful breakfast and contemplated my future. I would buy a house with a nice garden and open a Donkey Sanctuary. As I left the hotel that morning I was reminded how some people waste their time on the wrong things in life. I heard that two men had taken shots at each other and were arguing about money before being arrested by armed police and taken away. I think they were foreigners from some troubled country trying to purchase or sell arms. I am glad I at least kept to an honest way of life.

So you see. With this kindness showered upon me and a sunny outlook on life I can only be happy, content and caring and sensitive. Life has smiled on me. I even won a huge lottery prize two weeks ago to extend my farm and help lots of animals. I suppose all I now need is a wife to make my life complete.

About the Author

From the website of www.birminghamuk.com